Monday, March 3, 2008

Are you sick?


Is the standard response to the phrase "I'm off the beer'. "A man who doesn't drink isn't to be trusted" I have uttered those words myself, whilst slyly observing a stranger ordering a soft drink for himself at the bar. "He must be a recovering alcoholic, or on antibiotics" I have murmured to myself.


I believed all that was true until the morning of the 10th of Feb when I spoke the forbidden words myself "I think I will give up the drink till the 15th of March" I said, not thinking twice about 1) How bloody long it is from Feb 10th to March 15th and 2) the pure willpower required to go a week without a jar, let alone 35 days or 1 month, 6 days or indeed:


3,024,000 seconds
50,400 minutes
840 hours
5 weeks


But who's counting?


Immediately the self righteousness set in "Ahh, I'll do that standing on my head" that's all well and good, from Monday 0700 to Friday 4pm, when the buzz begins to infect the office, when talk of pints are all there is to speak of for the final hour of the work week. I began to sweat, all eyes were on me, the new guy in the office, the fabled Irishman who can drink a thousand pints and STILL have room for more, eager eyes, smiling faces all looked towards me, willing me to agree to go for pints, it was torture. I mumbled something about "not tonight, I can't, I eh, I eh have plans" but they saw through me like a cheap pair of boxers. I blurted out that I was "Off the drink"; the look of bewilderment and confusion on their faces was priceless. I made my excuses and left, PHEW! One Friday down, 5 more to go.


Well, 18 games of bowling, 3 trips to the cinema, 6 early bird meals and countless trips to the gym later, I am still off it. All I can say is that I am glad I am in Canada and off the jar, cause God help the poor feckers who do it at home, the pressure must be awful. Nuclear arms crisis' can't compare to the pressure a man must feel walking into a bar in Ireland and ordering a pint of coke or water, the stigma, the shame, the feeling that you are less of a man.


Well, with only 12 more sleeps to go till I have a beer, do I have any advice for a bloke thinking of giving up the beer? Yes.....


Move to Canada!

Himself

My photo
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Beer lover, Loving Husband and Dad :-) - oh and I'm an expert recruiter