Wish you were Beer!

Toronto Beer Week continued ...

2011-10-03T19:25:00.000-07:00

In continuation to my last post, I was lucky enough to attend a few more events.

'The Indie Alehouse' brewery launch at 'The Burger Bar' (my new local bar!) where they showcased their Instigator Pale Ale: west coast style IPA and their Leadership Qualities: Breakfast Porter both which were a stellar start to this new brewery and a sign of great things to come.

Next up was the 'Toronto Beer Week Pub Crawl' where I joined the group of revellers at 'The Victory Cafe' for a quick pint of Spearhead Hawaiian Pale Ale before moving on the brand new premises of 'Smokeless Joes' - what a treat it was. The boys over at Joes opened their doors a few days early specifically to accommodate us. With a great tap line up and a great new space, things are looking very bright.

The new Smokeless Joes

Finally it was over to Bar Volo for the 3rd annual Brasserie Dieu Du Ciel! Tap take over where there was no less than 12 taps and 7 Dieu Du Ciel! products available. Volo was packed to the rafters and had a special licence to open to 0400hrs and although I was in slumberland by midnight, I heard it was packed until closing.

Although this year I didn't attend as many events as last year I still had an absolute blast. The Toronto beer scene has exploded in my 3.5 years in Canada, I can't wait to see what the future holds.

Some of my choices during the DDC tap take over

Toronto Beer Week 2011

2011-09-19T13:30:00.000-07:00

Spurned by my good pal Greg Clow's post over on his popular blog beerboozebites.com regarding this years Toronto Beer Week I decided to put my own two cents in.

My first event in this huge itinerary of madness was the 'Barrel Bragging Rights' event over at 'The Monks Table' where a group of Toronto beer writers and bloggers teamed with local breweries to make some barrel aged/cask brews to be judged blindly by the thirsty public. Entrance fee was $25 and included unlimited samples and finger food. The kegs involved were somewhat small so some of the more popular beers disappeared quickly however there was plenty to go around. The winner was Chris Grimley from 'Beer with me TO' who partnered with Great Lakes to make a delicious Saison. My personal favourite was Toronto Star's columnist Josh Rubin who paired with Black Creek brewery they made a milk stout aged in a bourbon barrel and infused with vanilla pods (I think)

As Greg mentions in his review of the event; Greg, Josh (Rubin) and I headed to The Rebel House for a pint and a bite to eat. The two old ~~farts~~ timers went home and I carried on and kept it lit with some Dieu du Ciel - Peche Mortel at Bar Volo with a few of the remaining people still standing from the event.

All in all it was an enjoyable event and hopefully if I keep my blogging up I might be considered for next years event. I shall update the blog as I attend various sessions.

Here's a jumpy video I took of the event.

Is Féidir linn

2011-05-23T18:31:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I didn't really give President Obama's visit to Ireland a second thought... living in Canada we're used to having the gentleman on our doorstep. I'm not sure why but something prompted me to turn on the Irish news coverage this morning (rte.ie) and to say I was overwhelmed is a serious understatement.

The public showing of joy and excitement was something the Irish public were long overdue. Seeing the President and Michelle in the tiny village of Moneygall, getting out of their car and openly embracing the public (much to the horror of the secret service it seems) was a tremendous sight. Their entrance to Ollies bar and the enjoyment of a pint of Guinness was just a pinnacle moment in the Presidents visit.. there was nothing rehearsed, nothing condescending , just a genuine chap enjoying a genuine moment in an Irish pub. His jokes and congeniality were infectious.

Fast forward to the Dublin appointment, my opinion of An Taoiseach Enda Kenny smashed through the roof with his animated and passionate speech... yes, the grumps said he was OTT and 'annoying' but damnit, I thought he was genuine and uplifting, just what the country needs now. Obama himself was a joy to listen to, I wept with emotion at home in Toronto and would have given anything to be there for this historic Irish moment.

Ireland truly put itself back on the world map today. We did ourselves proud. Bravo. Bravo...

Goodbye to Michael Scott

2011-04-28T20:57:00.000-07:00

Wow,

What a poignant and fitting end to Michael Scott's reign at Dunder Mifflin - I was an absolute mess watching it. I can't imagine the series continuing much longer without him. We've seen Michael grow immensely over the past few years and to see him move to Colorado to be with Holly seemed to mark his arrival to maturity.

Michael (Steve) you'll be sorely missed.

Latest weigh in

2011-03-07T19:40:00.001-08:00

Down another 5.8 lbs!!! Hell yeah!

The other love of my life

2011-02-19T20:38:00.001-08:00

Here he is, my little boy Cian. Handsome or what?

Points update

2011-02-19T20:37:00.000-08:00

Well,

Week two of Weight Watchers, I didn't hit it out of the ballpark like last week but I did manage to lose 2lbs. So that's just about 10lbs in two weeks...... 30 more to go!

Points Points Points...

2011-02-18T17:30:00.000-08:00

Well folks, after the birth of our baby boy last June our schedule has been upside-down, therefore there's been a LOT of take-out food and a lot of beer ;-) add that to Christmas and a three week trip to Ireland in Jan and you've got one BFF (big fat fcuker) so I'm back on the Weight Watchers wagon. The last time I did it I lost 54lbs. So after week one of it here in Canada (WITHOUT cutting out beer mind you) I have lost 7.8lbs, my second weigh in is tomorrow morning. Watch this space..

The 12 pubs of Christmas - Toronto

2010-12-01T18:12:00.000-08:00

Okay - the hard work is done, the pubs have been decided; it's just down to getting the drinking done now!!

Saturday the 4th of December @ 1700hrs Sharp!

Kick off is FIVE PM sharp and we will be moving from pub to pub at a steady pace. All destinations are walkable.

There's plenty of opportunities to grab food in between venues or indeed in a venue, just send us a text or call us to see where we are if you decide to stay somewhere to eat.
...

The list of pubs in order from start to finish is:

C'est What? (67 Front street at Church)
McVeighs (124 Church St. )
Duggans (75 Victoria Street)
PJ O'Briens ( 39 Colborne Street , behind King Edward hotel)
Beer Bistro (18 King Street East)
Duke of Richmond (20 Queen St. W.- basically the south west entrance of the eaton centre)
The Imperial Pub (54 Dundas St. E. - just behind Dundas Sq)
Queen & Beaver (35 Elm Street)
Duke of Somerset (655 Bay Street, south of Gerrard)
Village Idiot (126 Mc Caul Street opposite the AGO)
Sin & Redemption (Next door to Village Idiot)
Smokeless Joes (125 John Street)

Okay - so let me know via email garthicus AT hotmail DOT com or twitter @garthicus if you'd like to come along and I'll message you my phone number.

The waiting game

2010-06-06T19:08:00.000-07:00

Today is the due date of our first baby......

S/he doesn't seem to want to visit us today! We'll sit tight........

Hurry up, we're excited to meet you!

Homeward bound

2010-05-30T18:21:00.000-07:00

It's been a wonderful 2.5 years so far in Canada, I really love it here. We have great friends, great family (the few members that are in Canada) and generally a great life here. However; I haven't been home since we moved here. I'm delighted to report that I'm off home on the 14th of July for 5 days for my best friends wedding (I'm his best man). Whilst I'm delighted to be going home for a visit, I'm sure it'll be a little bitter sweet as I'm leaving behind my wife and our (soon to be born) child.. she's due in a few days and all going well the baby will be only a few weeks old when I head back to Ireland for the few days.

That aside, I'm seriously looking forward to quite a few things that I've been missing! Obviously I'm looking forward to seeing my family and of course my friends but other things I miss are; in no particular order:

Breakfast rolls/full Irish breakfast:

(Minus the blackcurrants!)

A nice bit of batch loaf:

A dozen pints in my local pub - 'The Pound' in Swords:

And of course, news, tv, newspapers etc from home:

But most of all I am really excited about seeing and tasting all the new craft beers that have hit the Irish market in my absence, particularly the cask offerings. I'll be hitting up 'The Bull and Castle' and 'The Porterhouse' as soon as I arrive to imbibe some craft beer goodness.

Hopefully I'll get to finally meet some of the Irish Craft Brewer members, in particular The Beer Nut and Barry Masterson (although Barry is in Germany!) as I've been a member of that site for a few years now and am yet to meet any of them.

So, hopefully this trip will go well, it's my first time flying with Air Transat and I'm on a pretty tight schedule. The Canadian dollar is pretty strong against the Euro too so that's a bonus.

Fingers crossed :-)

A month on the dry.....

2010-04-01T19:33:00.000-07:00

In response to the thumping I gave my liver and my bank account over St. Patrick's week. I've decided to give myself a break from Craft Beer imbibing for roughly a month (well, actually a day or two more than a month). The carrot on the end of the stick is a trip to Montreal with my buddies Harry and Paul (and hopefully Greg if he can get the time off work) for a weekend of Craft Beer madness.

Whilst a month will hardly repair 12 years of damage, it will give me time to lose a bit of weight and prepare for our first baby which is due on June 6th :-) The weekend in Montreal is in theory 'a last hurrah' before the arrival of the little one. So, right now I'm 12 days into my challenge and I thought it would be relatively easy until I saw the weather forecast for this weekend (in and around 25 degrees). Seeing as I live slap bang in the middle of Toronto's entertainment district and therefore patio central, it's going to be a bit of a killer.

Watch this space!

Brew round up

2010-03-03T20:26:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I've done a round up of what I've been imbibing lately, laziness coupled with procrastination is not a good trait of mine. Anyhow; some highlights of the past few weeks have been...

Catching up on my Mill Street Brewing ratings... have you ever assumed that you've tried all/most of a breweries offerings only to realize that you're missing out on quite a few? That happened to me the other day whilst at Mill Street when I realized I'd never tried their fabulous Pilsner - admittedly, I'm not the greatest fans of pils in general but this one just spoke to me, tasty and refreshing and with nice mango and fruit flavours that I can't get enough of. That evening there were also four or five other Mill St. brews tried including their one off 'Mocha Java Loco' on cask which was sublime.

A cheeky trip to Montreal with the lovely wife made for a good opportunity to try a few Dieu Du Ciel and Benelux brews that were new to me. Not too many mind you as I wasn't there for beer reasons... but here's a couple of pics..

We rented a car and drove to Old Quebec and man were we impressed, what an absolute gem of a city. Check out out pics over on our flickr site. My better half suggested that whilst we were there I might as well pick up some brews so we headed to Le Monde des Bières - a really neat Quebec beer store, whilst beer is on the expensive side in Quebec (especially the bottle deposit) it's well worth picking some up as most of it is not available outside the province. In this particular store the brewery La Barberie brew some beers especially for them. Here's what I picked up:

So all in all it was a successful non beer trip yet beer trip. A few days later myself and the Toronto Ratebeer gang had our monthly tasting at my place and it ended up being a pretty messy and enjoyable affair. Good friends, good beer and good craic. What else can a man want?

Alexandra Johanna

2010-02-05T21:31:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine has just had an incredible thing happen to her, it's almost like fiction. I'll explain it via an e-mail that I sent to George Hook today...

Hi George,

Greetings from a cold and snowy Toronto. Regarding my tweet about an Irish citizen in a spot of bother in South Africa, here’s the story:

My wife and I used to live in Dubai, my wife used to fly for Emirates, we still have quite a few friends there who are flying for them, one being an Irish girl (her name is Liz). Liz has had a history of stomach problems, ulcers etc... before Christmas she went to the Emirates clinic in Dubai (they are so large that they have their own hospitals and clinics for their staff) complaining of stomach pains and general tiredness etc. She went back to them for test results a couple of weeks ago but the clinic had lost her results, so in the interim the Doctor decided to up her ulcer medication.

On the 21st of Jan, Liz was on an overnight Johannesburg stop, she had severe stomach aches during the night - it turns out that they weren't cramps, they were labour contractions. She self delivered a premature baby girl in the hotel room and with the assistance of the staff was able to get the baby breathing and get to a private hospital. Liz did not know she was pregnant. I believe that staff in Emirates welfare department back in Dubai were initially being very good to Liz & baby but as of a few days ago (George – here’s the real kicker) her contract has been terminated and her health insurance revoked, She's now alone in JNB stuck with USD$86k medical bill (the hospital need payments up front for the next three months worth of care for baby Alexandra) along with accommodation costs, food etc... why, you ask did they terminate her employment and revoke her insurance? Because she is unmarried. She has worked for them for seven years and they have left her stranded in JNB.

Emirates have also told her to vacate the hotel she is staying in and she now has to find alternative accommodation for the next 5 months (baby Alexandra will be in hospital for three and it will be another two months afterwards that she can travel back to Ireland)

Liz has told me that the staff in the hotel she’s in (and soon has to leave) have been superb and even had a baby shower for her in her hotel room. I have written to one of the Vice Presidents of HR in Emirates who I know and explained the situation to him as I suspect it wasn’t escalated that high up the ranks. He has said they will investigate it.

If there is a silver lining, it’s that Liz is lucky that she didn’t give birth whilst in Dubai as she would have been jailed as it’s against the law to have a baby out of wedlock.

The unfortunate part is that she’s now stuck in JNB for the next five months. There is a facebook group called ‘Alexandra Johanna’ where there are details of an account that any donations can be made to help Liz and baby out. Her family and friends have managed to raise a good amount of the medical fees but we’re still many thousands of dollars/euros away from what the hospital are asking.

Anyhow George, that’s the story. I hope it’s of interest to you. If you need more info including mine or Liz (in SA's) tel number, please let me know.

______________________________________________________________________________________

So, there you go. An incredible story. If you'd like to help; here are the account details:

Bank: Nedbank
Branch Code: 13280500
Account Name: Mrs Louise Mickel
Account Number: 1328040364
Swift Code: nedszajj

Hoppy New Year

2009-12-31T23:56:00.000-08:00

Ya like the title? See what I did there. Clever eh? I've had a spectacular beer year, I hit 1000 ratings on ratebeer.com, managed to finally track down a Westy 12 and numerous other rare and awesome beers. Instead of a blurb, I'll post some highlights of the year pics instead.

I can't wait for 2010

Volo Cask Days 2009

2009-11-05T19:35:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's that time of year again. Volo Cask Days marks my almost 2 year anniversary in Canada. Volo has become the number one beer bar in Toronto, in fact I'd almost hazard to say, Ontario over the past few years. Owner Ralph Morana, his wife, sons and their staff put an almost religious like commitment into ensuring that the yearly Cask Days event runs like a well oiled machine.

This year saw a change of the usual events and had a 'Cask Week' running up to the main event with a number of different casks available in traditional UK styles. This was an excellent opportunity to enjoy some fine cask goodness in the relaxed atmosphere of pre cask days in Volo. I attended on Monday with my good friend Harry (@hogtownharry on Twitter) and on Tuesday with my other good pal Paul (@paulbazinet). On these days I gave the following brews a try:

F&M Stonehammer Porter
Mike Duggans #6 ESB
MacLeans Battle X ESB
Magnotta Festa Best Bitter
Ste. Andre Brass Monkey Ordinary Bitter

The real cask challenge for me was to be on the Friday, I had tickets to both sessions and had my eye on the prize i.e. try as many of the interesting brews as possible!

Friday came along and I'm delighted to report I managed to try 22 other brews, I'll have to go through my notes to check which ones, but this is what was available:

ONTARIO EAST
Scotch Irish Brewing Company - Black Plain Strawberry Porter
Heritage Brewing Company - Hop Fresh 2009
Beau 's All Natural Brewing - Tommy Gun Pale (Caba Caba Hey) / Night Märzen Aged in Wood Cask
County Cider* - Waupoos Cider
Barley Days - Harvest Gold Pale Ale
Church Key - Purple Loosestrife Mead / Oaked Islay V Scotch Ale
Publican House* - McHenry Red Ale

ONTARIO NORTH EAST
Lakes of Muskoka Cottage Brewery - 2009 Harvest Ale
Hockley Valley - Peanut Butter and Jam Ale
Flying Monkey* - Netherworld India Pale Porter
King - Dry Hopped/Unflitered Pilsner
Black Creek* - Traditional Pumpkin Ale
Magnotta - Festa Best Bitter (Dry hopped mid Atlantic Pale Ale)

ONTARIO NORTH WEST
Thornbury Village* - Peeler Cider
Battleaxe Brewery* - Old Angus Old Ale
F&M Brewery - Nightmare On Ale Street
Wellington - Iron Duke Strong Ale
Grand River - Highballer Pumpkin Ale

ONTARIO SOUTH WEST
Railway City - Dead Elephant Ale
Stratford - Empire Strikes Black
Niagara’s Best - Portage Pale Ale
TAPS Brewing Company* - Rosberg's Porter (Dry Hopped)
Nickel Brook - Wooden Nickel IPA
Trafalgar - Pickled Corpse
Cameron's - Vanilla Dark Ale

ONTARIO (TORONTO)
Mill St. - 08/09 Blend Barley Wine (Dry Hopped)
Granite Brewery - Gin Lane Barley Wine
Duggan's Brewery* - Duggan’s #7 Stout
Denison’s - Dunkel from a Wood Barrel (Not Cask-Conditioned) Session 3A Only
Durham Brewing Company - Black Eye Ale
Amsterdam - Oaked Oktoberfest 2009
Great Lakes - Morning Glory Breakfast Stout
Great Lakes & BarVolo - Matt’s Marathon Mild
Black Oak - Lime Light Pale
Cheshire Valley Brewing* - Ginger-Lime Ale
St. Andre - Freshly Squeezed Barley Juice

GUEST (QUEBEC & ENGLAND)
Brasserie Benelux* - Amato Texas Reserve Brown
Brasserie Dieu Du Ciel! - Corne Diable IPA / Péché Mortel / Penombre Black IPA
Brasserie Hopfenstark - Post Colonial IPA
Fullers - London Pride Pale Ale / Extra Special Bitter / India Pale Ale / Red Fox Red Ale

Thanks to Volo's great patience with the 'ticker' we were all given a pint glass to keep as part of the entry fee and were able to buy 1/4, 1/2 and full pints of each brew - perfect for the tickers and the newbies alike.

Surprisingly enough, one of the best beers of the fest for me was the Hockley Valley - Peanut Butter and Jam Ale. Deliciously nutty with actual peanut butter and jam notes. Crazy.

Hopefully over the next coming days I'll have some of the beer reviews ready to post. In the meantime, here's some pretty pictures.

The Ceili Cottage

2009-10-16T20:29:00.000-07:00

An eagerly awaited newcomer to the Toronto pub scene. This truly is as close to a pub in Ireland as you’ll get outside the Emerald Isle. From the 2 million year old bar made from granite from Ireland, to the oyster shells embedded in the concrete on the patio, this truly is a taste of home for me. The owner Patrick McMurray has done a fine job of this place, the food is all made in house (even the sausages!) and they have fresh oysters from Canada and Ireland.

There are 12 taps, 4 Irish and the rest are rotating Ontario brews and a real ale cask. The staff are a fantastic bunch and certainly always friendly and willing to help. There’s different events each evening from live Irish trad music sessions, match making evenings to shuck your own oyster nights. This has become my favourite pub in Toronto by far and is a home away from home, right down to the Irish turf burner that scents the place evoking memories of home. This is a must visit in Toronto.

www.ceilicottage.com

Stop - Pumpkin time!

2009-10-11T19:59:00.000-07:00

It's probably my favourite beer time of year - yes, Pumpkin Ale time. Right now as I type this I'm having a Wolavers Will Stevens Pumpkin Ale.

It's certainly not my favourite pumpkin ale but it really is a delicious example of what a pumpkin ale can be.

My rating is as follows:

Appearance: Golden Orange, no visible carbonation, small off white spiderweb head. Aroma: Pumpkin spice, cinnamon, malt, yeast, orange peel and bread. Aroma: Bitter orange peel, malt, spice, cinnamon, it’s a strange balance between orange peel and malt. It works, but just barely.

Aroma: 6
Appearance: 3
Flavour: 6
Palate: 3
Overall: 14

Score out of 5 is 3.2

Beer of the month - August

2009-08-19T19:57:00.000-07:00

It has to be Black Oak Summer Saison. I must say, I allowed the Toronto Ratebeer lads whip me up into a frenzied state about its pending release. I didn't get around to having it for a couple of weeks so I had to put up with hearing the guys raving about it...

So, I finally got around to having it at The Rhino , I was seated at their patio and was chuffed when the server told me they had it... so, it arrived: Looked in order but smelled very odd, lots of caramel and wet paper, lots of skunk... then the taste - caramel, caramel, caramel.... butter and caramel again... I left disappointed and confronted the lads.. they all came to the defence of the Summer Saison.

Anyhow, zip forward a week and I was in one of Toronto's finest beer establishments Bar Volo and saw that they had it on tap. I ordered a pint. What a different beast it was. Superb. Just a perfect summer beer.

Aroma 7
Appearance 4
Flavour 7
Palate 4
Overall 16

Total 3.8 out of 5

Kudos to Ken and the staff at Black Oak, this is a cracker of a brew.

Pic stolen from my pals at www.tasteto.com

Beer of the month - July

2009-07-31T18:06:00.000-07:00

Yeah, yeah - I'm a couple of months late on this one *blush*

This months beer of the month is Creemore Springs Kellerbier, much like Greg Clow over at tasteTO it's also only my second Kellerbier...

I was sorry to miss the launch party at Victory Cafe a little while ago, so I was very glad to grab a 6 pack from the LCBO today..

Here's my notes and scores

Appearance: Pinkish orange with a small off white head and good visible carbonation. Aroma: Slight perfume, some grassy hops, malt, some light lemon peel and grain. Flavour: Initially malt, nice grassy hops (as opposed to the grassy hops that I personally dislike) a good creaminess to the body with a sweet hop finish, the more I’m drinking it - the better it’s getting. Good work Creemore, a solid brew. Oh - refreshing too!

Aroma 7/10
Appearance: 4/5
Flavour: 7/10
Palate: 4/5
Overall: 17/20

Total score: 3.9 out of a possible 5

Beer of the month

2009-04-30T20:26:00.000-07:00

My beer of the month for April is most definitely Brooklyn Black Ops:

With thanks to HogTownHarry for picking this up in Buffalo for me! Appearance: A lovely used motor oil body with nice thick creamy brown head. Aroma: Chocolate-peat, bourbon, leather, vanilla, lots of malt, alcohol, yeast, some almost strawberry notes with a nice hint of whiskey in the finish of the aroma. Flavour: Tremendous, lots of oak, smoke, bitter chocolate, with burnt malt and coffee. There’s some alcohol but it’s not overpowering, thin but somehow creamy body with nice tingly carbonation on the tip of the tongue and a very long malt-whiskey-chocolate finish. Just superb.

Appearance: 4/5
Aroma: 9/10
Flavour: 8/10
Palate: 4/5
Overall impression: 18/20

http://www.ratebeer.com/beer/brooklyn-black-ops/82103/30639/

Six Nations - Grand Slam

2009-03-21T17:00:00.000-07:00

I can't recall the last time, if ever, a radio broadcast made me cry. Well today it happened. Congratulations Ireland - you made us proud, from Dublin to Cardiff to Casablanca then Toronto. You've lifted the spirit of the nation in a time of horrible uncertainty.

The Spring

2009-03-06T21:43:00.000-08:00

Today was finally above freezing. I left work and it was 10c there was a slight breeze in my face. I flashed back to Dublin at the end of the summer. I suddenly missed the sights and sounds of home. The smell of the trees as I walked to the shops. The friendly nod of the odd passer by I knew. The familiar sights and sounds of the main street in my town. The bellows of laughter and chat coming from the pubs.

Immediately I was back in Toronto. I could see the city in the distance, it beckoned me. It screamed of a new home, a new place. Nothing will replace Ireland but my God, Toronto takes a good crack at it. I gladly got on the streetcar and made my way home.

Sometimes happiness comes from the simplest of things, today it came from the wind.

2009-02-05T22:04:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty jarred. 'Jarred' is Irish for 'locked' which is Irish for 'pissed' which is Irish for 'Baloobas' which is Irish for 'Scuttered' which is Irish for 'Walloped' which is Irish for 'GaGa' which is Irish for 'Smashed' which is Irish for 'Locked'

Has it almost been a year?

2009-02-05T16:11:00.000-08:00

I read somewhere that 90% of blogs once created are never accessed again after the first couple of months by the owner. Well, I guess this almost happened to me. It's one of those things, I keep meaning to do it; but I put it on the long finger.

So I've been living in Canada for over a year now, I came across this list of things and find myself agreeing with a lot of the topics

You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines.

You're not offended by the term, "Homo Milk".

You understand the sentence, "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine."

You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.

You drink pop, not soda.

You know what it means to be on pogey.

You know that a mickey and 2-4's mean "Party at the camp, eh?!"

You can drink legally while still a teen.

You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.

You don't know or care about the fuss with Cuba, it's just a cheap place to travel with good cigars and no Americans.

When there is a social problem, you turn to your government to fix it instead of telling them to stay out of it.

You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.

Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.

You drive on a highway, not a freeway.

You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.

You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers

You know that Thrills are something to chew and "taste like soap."

You know that Mounties "don't always look like that."

You dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the elderly."

You know that the Friendly Giant isn't a vegetable product line.

You know that Casey and Finnegan are not a Celtic musical group.

You participated in "Participaction."

You have an Inuit carving by your bedside with the rationale,"What's good enough protection for the Prime Minister is good enough for me."

You wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin yet.

Like any international assassin/terrorist/spy in the world, you possess a Canadian passport.

You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing 'u's from labor, honor, and color.

You know the French equivalents of "free", "prize", and "no sugar added", thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.

You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.

You make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day.

You can do all the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's "Skin-a-ma-rinky-dinky-doo" opus.

You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.

You were mad when "The Beachcombers" were taken off the air.

You know what a toque is.

You have some memento of Bob and Doug.

You know Toronto is not a province.

You never miss "Coach's Corner".

Back bacon and Kraft Dinner are two of your favourite food groups.

Like everywhere, it has its ups and downs but I have to say, Toronto has mainly ups. Although I whinge about the public transport (TTC) it's generally clean, on time and very frequent. The people are friendly, the food great, the beers great and the standard of living is really high. The downsides? Well the novelty of snow wears off pretty quickly and standing waiting on the streetcar in -28c weather isn't my idea of fun to say the least.

But all in all, I've feck all to complain about.. it's a Thursday evening, I've no work tomorrow (I work a short week once a month). It's snowing out but I have the heating on, I'm curled up on the couch and I've a St. Ambroise Oatmeal stout in my hand.

Life is great.

2008-05-31T08:53:00.000-07:00

More to come, don't you worry

Are you sick?

2008-03-03T18:15:00.000-08:00

Is the standard response to the phrase "I'm off the beer'. "A man who doesn't drink isn't to be trusted" I have uttered those words myself, whilst slyly observing a stranger ordering a soft drink for himself at the bar. "He must be a recovering alcoholic, or on antibiotics" I have murmured to myself.

I believed all that was true until the morning of the 10th of Feb when I spoke the forbidden words myself "I think I will give up the drink till the 15th of March" I said, not thinking twice about 1) How bloody long it is from Feb 10th to March 15th and 2) the pure willpower required to go a week without a jar, let alone 35 days or 1 month, 6 days or indeed:

3,024,000 seconds
50,400 minutes
840 hours
5 weeks

But who's counting?

Immediately the self righteousness set in "Ahh, I'll do that standing on my head" that's all well and good, from Monday 0700 to Friday 4pm, when the buzz begins to infect the office, when talk of pints are all there is to speak of for the final hour of the work week. I began to sweat, all eyes were on me, the new guy in the office, the fabled Irishman who can drink a thousand pints and STILL have room for more, eager eyes, smiling faces all looked towards me, willing me to agree to go for pints, it was torture. I mumbled something about "not tonight, I can't, I eh, I eh have plans" but they saw through me like a cheap pair of boxers. I blurted out that I was "Off the drink"; the look of bewilderment and confusion on their faces was priceless. I made my excuses and left, PHEW! One Friday down, 5 more to go.

Well, 18 games of bowling, 3 trips to the cinema, 6 early bird meals and countless trips to the gym later, I am still off it. All I can say is that I am glad I am in Canada and off the jar, cause God help the poor feckers who do it at home, the pressure must be awful. Nuclear arms crisis' can't compare to the pressure a man must feel walking into a bar in Ireland and ordering a pint of coke or water, the stigma, the shame, the feeling that you are less of a man.

Well, with only 12 more sleeps to go till I have a beer, do I have any advice for a bloke thinking of giving up the beer? Yes.....

Move to Canada!

What maketh a local?

2008-02-27T19:43:00.000-08:00

What makes a pub 'a local'? And indeed, what makes you 'a local'?

For me, a local pub is a resting place, a fortress of solitude, a celebration place, a meeting place, a happy place and a sad place all rolled into one. Indeed like 'Cheers' it's a place where everybody knows your name.

I like the fact you can walk into a local, nod at the barman (who you are on a first name basis with) and be served your usual drink with minimum fuss. I enjoy how there is no dress code, no pretence and very few limits imposed on you that may be forced upon a new comer. For instance, I have enjoyed the luxury of bringing a sandwich or a kebab into the bar from the shop or fast food joint on the corner, a highly taboo subject for even the most relaxed of bars and it wouldn't be unheard of me to doze quietly in the corner after a marathon drinking session. In fact, I have witnessed behaviour that would get the Pope thrown out of the pub that is tolerated by staff and locals in a local pub. But why? I suppose the economists would say that a local patron over their lifetime will put many thousands of Euros over the counter and the odd behavioural blemish now and then is acceptable in order to keep a steady income, but I think it is more deep rooted than that.

The locals in a pub are a family, and like all families they have their ups and downs and their falling outs, but ultimately, Guinness is thicker than water and it sorts itself out. People mourn the loss of a regular and delight in each others success's; at the births of children, communions, confirmations and weddings or a winning bet. It is a self contained community with a subtle yet clearly defined hierarchy, usually dictated by seniority but sometimes by sporting knowledge or musical ability.

The local is somewhere to turn in times of need, whether it be financial or you are simply looking for some lads to help you weed your garden, you can be sure someone in your local will give you a dig out (excuse the pun)! It is a home away from home, somewhere to escape to when the world outside gets too much, somewhere to hide from the pressures of life.

Somewhere to enjoy.

If there is a heaven, and God truely loves us, then I know my heaven will be sitting at the end of the bar in my local, a pint in my hand, a smile on my face, surrounded by family and friends with nothing but laughter and song and of course; eternal craic.

The Perfect day

2008-02-26T18:51:00.000-08:00

Picture this...It's a Saturday morning. You're sitting at home. Nothing on the TV. You're bored. A text message arrives noisily on your phone. You read it: 'Pints?'is all it says, you reply 'where, when?' and back you receive 'The local,NOW'..

An excitement starts to build in your stomach, butterflies start to flutter their wings. You jump up, quickly shower, get dressed and out the door.You're walking to the pub. It's cold but you don't mind. It's the thought of the pint that's getting you going. You're walking quickly, purposely. You stop at an ATM, you fumble in your wallet for your card. You try and insert it the wrong way, finally with cold numb fingers you shove it in and greedily finger your PIN. There's a shot of panic after you choose your required sum 'Do I have enough in there' you think.... before you finish your thought, the familiar and relieving rumble of clean, crisp money emulates from the machine. It jumps out of the slot and you cram it into your battered wallet.

You're on your way again. Down the street you go, ever faster, the excitement is starting to make its way to your mouth and a small but noticeable grin appears on your cold, rosy face. The pub looms in the distance. Almost there, you pick up the speed.Not quite jogging, but not quite walking either. You dread meeting someone you know on the street as you don't want to stop for idle chit-chat.

You arrive.You open the door. The warmth and atmosphere of the bar envelopes you. You breath a sigh of relieve. You're home. You look around the bar, there's the usual faces, happy and engrossed in their own conversations.

You're the first of your mates to arrive. The barman nods to you. 'A pint' you say.'I'll drop it over' his reply. You take a seat. Jacket off. He selects a dry, clean glass and pauses before he places it under the tap. You hold your breath, just for a moment. But you do. He pours. The brown liquid flows into the glass, he caresses the glass gently before placing it down to settle. You can see the brown swirls settling into black.

You take out some coins and jingle them nervously in your hand. It's almost ready.He tops it up and passes it to the lounge girl to take to your table. She stops to talk to another punter on the way to your seat. She's laughing with him. You're edgy, almost mentally willing her on her way to you. She arrives. The pint is placed in front of you. You thrust the coins into her hand, not even acknowledging her thanks for allowing her to pocket the small change.

It's now just you and the pint. Nothing else. Time stands still until you wait for the perfect moment to raise the glass.You marvel at it's colour and weight and at the head sitting proudly on top.You put it to your lips. They are dry and eager... and swallow. The black magic rolls down your throat, you can feel all your senses become alive,your face flushes and your heart sings. The laughter from the two men in the corner seems like some strange far away song. Your senses soar. You replace the pint to its place on the table. Condensation runs down the glass and you trace your finger along a cool drop.

The doors open, the lads have arrived, there's hugs and handshakes, laughter and shouts and talk of many more pints to come. You sit back, relax and smile to yourself. Today is going to be a perfect day.

2008-02-23T19:10:00.000-08:00

Smokeless Joes - Toronto

125 John Street Toronto, Ontario Canada (416) 591-2221

What a spot! Last night, whilst wandering the streets of Toronto, I stumbled upon this gem of a pub. No fancy signs, no lights. Squirrelled away in the basement of a building, just around the corner from cinemas, restaurants & trendy cafes and bars. This is not the easiest place to find, but when and if you do find it, you won't be sorry.

Upon entering the bar, I found it to be wall to wall with people, the barman came straight from behind the bar and over to me to say hello and to inform me that they were at capacity, but my second stroke of luck of the evening happened, as just then; a gaggle of afterwork girls put their jackets on and left, leaving me with a prime seat at the bar.

The bar itself was a mix-match of signs and knick knacks, chalk boards fill the walls with lists of their latest available bottles and beers on tap. A worn but impressive beer menu is also available to peruse. Smaller chalk boards advertise the type of oysters available and the prices.

Proper glassware for the beers is certainly adhered to in Smokeless Joe's and the barman was happy to shoot the breeze with me despite the place heaving with customers. A quick trip to the bathroom confirmed that they were spotless, a very welcome bonus as I have found many Toronto bars toilets to be substandard.

This bar oozes character and history, it was warm and inviting, buzzing but not 'shout over the crowd' noisy, I enjoyed a very enjoyable hour here and am looking forward to darkening their doorstep for a long time to come.